Rupture of a time

A part of my life has made me realize.

A dream, a regret, a relations, a hope and a future shattered in a split second.
Drowned to deep under where no men can rescue me. These story will I kept untold, I'll let the sadness eats me.
To kept me pinched awake, whenever I'm falls asleep.

Despite the pains I had, It's actually a story written in a fresh notebook. The pains relief by a fake smile and turns out as compliment to myself. It's the price I've to pay anyway.

Along the journey, I've met a few to be spoken here. A few people. Which has same similarities.
Similar in survival from a mistake in past and they succeed.

I've gather the thoughts, all of them have something to drive against their past.
A knife pointed in their butt to kept they running ahead. Rather not stopping and living alone in sadness.

What makes me running?What makes me ACTUALLY running?

LOVE?
DREAM?
or I just running because everybody was in their pursuit?Because I'm afraid to be left behind?

NO.period.
I kept running because of my responsibilities.
I have my debts on Abah and Mak. I have my debts on along,angah & ikah. I've have my debts on my family.
They are the one who catch me whenever I needed in my worst moment.

I must pay them. Not in materialistic term.

I owe you all. My tears in pains doesn't enough for it.
Thanks to Allah because still giving me a chance to look for them. Giving me a chance to erase the footprint to disaster.
Some way and somehow I still can't doing it 100% but I rather die trying.

I love them very much. I missed them now
Ya Allah, if you hear my pray. Please buy me some time to repay them.